Everyone has done harm to someone in their life, whether intentionally or not. This goes the same for alcoholics and addicts. In fact, most alcoholics and addicts have done a lot of harm to others. The good news is that after going to an alcohol or drug rehab program, you can set things straight. You can learn how to many amends to those whom you have hurt in the past. There is a process to making an amend that may help you.
Helpful and Forgiving Spirit
Part of the process is to go to the person whom you have harmed with a helpful and forgiving spirit, according to Chapter 6 of the Big Book. You shall let them know you feel ill about the things or thing you have done and express your regret to them at this time. You don’t have to approach them with your newfound religion or spiritual path. Just let them know you are asking for forgiveness. Keep in mind you may not get forgiveness from everyone who you make an amend to.
No Criticizing or Arguing
Making an amend can be tough, especially if the other person has done you some harm in the past as well. The process of making an amend means you will not criticize this person or argue with them. You are going to them, after your stay in an alcohol or drug rehabilitation program, with the intent of making an amend. This is about what you have done wrong and not what they have done. You are not to tell them what to do. You are only to let them know what you have done and ask for their forgiveness.
Stick to Your Own Faults
When you are making an amend, you must stick to your own faults, states Chapter 6 of the Big Book. What does this mean? Basically, it restates what you have been told above. When you are making an amend, you must focus only on what you have done. You won’t be pointing out anything the other person has done or blaming them for anything. You will be taking responsibility for the things you have done to harm them only. Even if there is something they had done in that exact situation, you must not speak of it at that time.
Overcoming an alcohol or drug addiction can take time and may be difficult at times. Making amends is part of the process. When you make an amend, these are some of the parts of that process you should be aware of. You must have a helpful and forgiving spirit. You shouldn’t criticize or argue with the person whom you are making amends with. Finally, you should make sure to stick to your own faults. This is the only way the process of making an amend is going to work. Keep all this in mind when you are making your amends.
If you have yet to get treatment from alcohol or drug treatment centers, now is the time to call 888-992-7955 to ask for help.
