Principles in Handling an Alcoholic Spouse

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Do you have an alcoholic spouse? Maybe they go too far when they are drinking. They might seem to have their drinking under control…for now. Either way, there are some principles that can help you to stay happy during their continued abuse of alcohol. These principles can also save a lot of heartbreak and help you to continue your life whether or not your spouse gets help for their addiction.

Don’t Be Angry

According to Chapter 8 of the Big Book, you should never be angry with your alcoholic spouse. If there are times when you need to leave him or her because of their drinking and you can do it without resentfulness, then you shall do it. Just keep a good temper and have patience with your spouse and yourself as they work their way through the disease. If you can prevent yourself from being angry with your spouse, you can live a better life, regardless of their alcohol addiction. Eventually, they might just enter into alcohol rehab and overcome their addiction.

Don’t Tell Your Spouse What to Do About Their Drinking

Chapter 8 of the Big Book also states that you should not tell your spouse what to do about their drinking. If your spouse thinks that you are being a killjoy, they are likely to drink even more. In addition, trying to boss around your spouse in regards to their drinking isn’t going to accomplish anything. It certainly isn’t going to make them enter into an alcohol rehabilitation center.

Be Determined

Most importantly, you should never let your spouse’s alcohol addiction affect the relationships that you have with your children, friends, and other loved ones. These people need you in their life. Letting your spouse’s alcohol addiction bring you down isn’t going to help these people live their best life possible. They need you to be there for them, regardless of your spouse’s addiction. As long as you don’t set your heart on reforming your spouse, you should be able to stay determined to be a part of these other relationships in your life.

These are some of the principles of being married to an alcoholic. Yes, eventually your spouse might be ready to turn to alcohol treatment centers. If they do, have them call 888-992-7955. Until then, follow these principles and you can live your best life possible.

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Esra Ahmed - MS, NCC, LPC, MHSP
Esra Ahmed - MS, NCC, LPC, MHSP

Experienced Clinical Director with a demonstrated history of working in the hospital & health care industry. Skilled in Anger Management, Healthcare, Medicine, EMDR, and Life Transitions. Strong healthcare services professional with a Masters Degree focused in Psychology from The University of Memphis.

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