Creating a Grudge List in Recovery


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Creating a Grudge List in Recovery

Those who attend a 12 Step based alcohol rehab center will learn how to take an inventory. While this includes many different things, one of the parts that is hardest for some recovering addicts, is the grudge list. This is your list of resentments. It can be helpful to know the different parts of this list, to make it a bit easier to write.

Target of Your Resentment

One of the first parts of creating your grudge list is to write down a list of targets for your resentment. Who are you resentful at? Is it your spouse, aunt, uncle, previous employer, sibling, ex-partner, or someone else? You can make a short or long list. Just write down the people who you have resentment toward. When you make this list, it  can be emotional. However, if you work on it, you can finally work out the anger and frustrations you have. This can release a lot of the weight off you in your recovery.

Cause of Your Resentment

The next part of your grudge list, according to Chapter 5 of the Big Book, should be to write down the cause of your resentments. For example, are you resentful towards your sibling for always talking over you? Are you resentful towards your mother for guilt tripping you? Write down all the causes next to the people who you have the resentments towards. This step can be a bit tougher. Try to be as specific as you can. If you are working on this step in the alcohol rehabilitation center, you can get help to work through your list.

Affect on Your Life or Emotions

How does the resentment affect you? This is very important. The resentment could affect your self-esteem, sex relations, personal health or life, ambitions, or something else. It could affect your fears, your believes, strengths, weaknesses, and more. Again, this part may be tough. However, when you write the way it affects you, in line with who you have the resentment with and the cause of the resentment, it can be a little easier. There are many ways in which one resentment may affect you. Be sure to write it down.


As a person who suffers from an alcohol addiction, you will learn the 12 Steps can help you grow into a strong, independent person. The 12 Steps can help you build your recovering lifestyle with strength, commitment, motivation, and so much more. While creating your grudge list can take a lot of time at first, soon, you will be able to add to your list without much difficulty. As you move through your recovery, you should keep adding your resentments. You can then check through each one as you work on them.


Are you ready to overcome your addiction? Are you currently working towards a recovering lifestyle? If so, let the alcohol treatment center help you create your grudge list when you get to this step.

Contact us at 888-992-7955.

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Picture of Esra Ahmed - MS, NCC, LPC, MHSP
Esra Ahmed - MS, NCC, LPC, MHSP

Experienced Clinical Director with a demonstrated history of working in the hospital & health care industry. Skilled in Anger Management, Healthcare, Medicine, EMDR, and Life Transitions. Strong healthcare services professional with a Masters Degree focused in Psychology from The University of Memphis.

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